“And there’s the sign, Ridcully,” said the Dean. “you have read it, I assume. You know? The sign which says ‘Do not, under any circumstances, open this door’?”
“Of course I’ve read it,” said Ridcully. “Why d’yer think I want it opened?”
“Er … why?” said the Lecturer in Recent Runes.
“To see why they wanted it shut, of course.”*
*This exchange contains almost all you need to know about human civilization. At least, those bits of it that are not under the sea, fenced off or still smoking.
“I’m in charge here and I want a bathroom of my own,” said Ridcully firmly. “And that’s all there is to it, all right? I want a bathroom in time for Hogswatchnight, understand?”
And that’s a problem with beginnings, of course. Sometimes, when you’re dealing with occult realms that have quite a different attitude to time, you get the effect a little way before the cause.
Oh, it’s good to be back with Sir Terry at the height of his powers — I feel like sharing every other page. And of course Ridcully would have done better curbing his curiosity about that door …
Other Hogfather-related Posts:
16 Tasks of the Festive Season – Hogfather Buddy Read
Terry Pratchett: Hogfather – FTB Enabled
Terry Pratchett / Ian Stewart / Jack Cohen: The Science of Discworld
Hogfather Buddy Read
24 Festive Tasks: Door 23 – Hogswatch
Terry Pratchett: Hogfather – The Boot Menu
Hogswatch – Door 23
My Favorite Discworld Characters
Terry Pratchett: Hogfather (Annual Reread)
Bloody Stupid Johnson
Santa in Literature: Theodor Storm’s Knecht Ruprecht and DEATH as Department Store Santa in Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather
Terry Pratchett: Hogfather (Annual Holiday Read)